[Actually written Monday, March 15, 2010]
It feels like i'm dreaming, especially when I'm awake.
It is time to wake up, and turn those dreams into reality, before the dream turns into a nightmare.
Many never wake up. Many get lost somewhere in between.
Having a real life isn't easy, if it was, more people would have them.
I'm sick of living in a haze.
I'm sick of making poor choices.
I'm sick of being sidetracked and distracting myself with entertainment.
I guess you could say that I'm uncomfortably numb.
For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling what I believe to be true motivation.
Not those short bursts of vision that come from time to time. But real, long-term motivation.
It's a hesitant yet determined kind of motivation, the kind that isn't fueled by lethargy, but by hearing the success stories from those that have followed their dreams and succeeded. It's the motivation that I get when I see someone who never even gave their dreams a chance, they just gave up and let the world swallow them whole. It's motivation that is inspired by the fictional characters in fictional stories, the ones that have the character, ethics, and morality that we wish to see in ourselves.
From time to time, I try to improve myself. Upgrade my firmware, so-to-speak.
Always, the goal is something positive. Rarely is the result lasting.
I always change for the better, but usually, it isn't as profound as I'd like.
You can add all the fertilizer you want, but real lasting growth takes time.
So what is on the itinerary for this 'life altering' day?
First off I'm going to pray, before I even get out of bed.
I'm going to pray for God to guide my thoughts and actions. I'm going to ask him to align my will with his own. I'm going to ask him to bless me in my efforts, so that through me, I can be a blessing to him.
Next I'm going to get up early. Very early.
Blood shot eyes early.
Holy crap I didn't know that the world even exists this early in the morning, early.
Look dude, the sun isn't even up yet early.
I'm going to eat a lite breakfast with no caffeine,
and I'm going to the gym.
I will exercise until the point where I won't climb right back into bed the moment I get home.
Then I'm going to run some errands and talk to my boss.
I've got some real questions I need to iron out.
There are too many variables in this experiment.
Then, I'm going to sit down and write a REAL bucket-list.
Not just stupid stuff like: Solving a Rubick's Cube.
Real stuff. Stuff I want to be when I grow up kinda stuff.
Some things will be X'd out immediately, some things will be circled.
The way I see it, I've got two more weeks before I run out of funding,
so I gotta make em count. It is literally now or never.
Many people settle, some get stuck. There is nothing wrong with settling,
but first I want to be able to say that I gave my dreams a fighting chance.
We all know the Whitey Ford song,
"You know where it ends, well it usually depends on where you start."
I'm going to start on the right foot.
Once my list is complete, I'm going to outline a strategy for achieving each goal.
I'm talking about bullet points, numbering, and indentation. The best Microsoft Word has to offer.
For the next two weeks, I'm going to focus on setting up the dominoes towards each goal.
I'm going to identify the gaps and obstacles, and adjust my list accordingly.
I am reminded of a story I once heard of a great renaissance artist who became fed up with the monotony of every day life. So he threw it all away and moved to the country side next to a lake. Every day, he would walk down to the lake and paint beautiful pictures of the flowers that grew there. Until one day, he realized that he had worn a rut in the path from his house to the lake. I suppose it is human nature to fall into a routine. God please don't let that happen to me.
Also, I'm going to put away a few childish things.
Cancel my netflix and my cable, close some bank accounts,
get rid of some things that I don't need.
I'm going to identify the fog machines that have been clouding my vision for far too long.
And I'm going to turn them off.
No more alcohol, no more nicotine, no more staying up till 1 am, no more sleeping till 1 pm.
If possible, I'd also like to cut back my soda intake to 1 bottle a day.
I mean a 20 oz. not a 2-liter. The sugar and chemicals are a burden to my body and my wallet.
I can't imagine how much I spend on that poison. It is time that I learn to enjoy the flavor of non-additive substances such as food, water, and air.
I want to feel the air in my lungs the way God intended.
I want to wake up naturally with the sun.
I want to run a mile and still be able to run another.
I want a meager existence. I want to live below my means.
It is funny how much it actually costs to have disposable income.
Some people can't afford to pay that kind of price.
In the end, it may be one of the most rewarding gifts I can give myself.
I know, this all seems overwhelming. Maybe even impossible.
I don't expect to succeed at everything. But like I said, I wish to say, I gave it an honest shot.
I will stumble, I will fail, I will relapse, I will waste, I am human.
However, I will NOT allow this opportunity to pass me by.
They say the economy is in a depression. The economy is not my life.
In either case, I choose not to participate.
EDIT:
Added 2/16/2011
We are a month away from the one year anniversary of this note. I'll take stock and reportall the changes that I've made. I'll take note of my success and failures. This should be interesting...
No comments:
Post a Comment