CoGs - Fasting, lesson 1

Conversations with God 8/26/12 Tomorrow, I’m going to begin a fast. I’m fasting from just about everything that I use to comfort myself, everything from food and softdrinks down to cracking my neck and chewing gum. Most music and all entertainment is right out. Take away any two of the things on this list and it’s sure to kill me. I have ten in all 1. The fast will last until Thursday morning. 2. No Food 3. No Gum 4. No coffee, tea, or comfort beverages (ahem) 5. No soda or Gatorade 6. Medicine only in moderation 7. No music (except live worship) 8. No facebook newsfeed (group and message communication is fine) 9. No Entertainment (websites, videogames, movies, tv shows, or any other distraction vehicle) 10. No cracking my neck (stretching without popping is allowed) Now, I know this looks pretty legalistic, and you’d be right, except all these things allow me to be so comfortable that I don’t see my need for God, and I would argue that that (for the time being) makes them sin. Besides, the point of this fast is to kill myself. The part of me that says masturbation and pornography is ok, must die. I want to be clean. I need to be pure. I need to live a life worthy of the calling I’ve received. I cannot go on worshipping the Lord, while knowing i’m not in a right relationship with him. This is my oldest sin, and it’s well past time that it get’s put away. I know that lust will be a life-long battle, but it’s time to start fighting, it’s time to start winning. I need to reclaim the moral ‘high ground’. I can’t lead these people to the Lord, if I’m running away from him myself. It is with this that I approached God in prayer. I said, “Lord, I need to give this up for you. I need to be rid of this sin.” and I almost immediately felt a gentle reply, “What makes you so sure it’s a sin? What if pie is ok for you?” As much as I would love to entertain that possibility, I know the fact is the opposite. LUST IS WRONG. IT IS A SIN TO LOOK LUSTFULLY AT A WOMAN. “Are you sure? What if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing?” At this point, I’m angry and stubborn. “It is wrong, and nobody can convince me otherwise. Not even ...God.” Then God spoke to me in a voice that I used to call familiar. “This is the first lesson. I haven’t spoken to you in a long time, because you stopped obeying, then you stopped listening, so I stopped speaking. If you want to hear my voice, you better be ready to obey it. Especially in the next 3 days, you are going to hear things from me that you don’t want to hear. You will drop lower than you’ve ever been, but through all, you need to trust me. I promise it will make sense when we’re done. Lust is sin, that is a truth. I have forgiven you for it, that is also a truth. Now, if you are going to make it through repentance and purification, you better be ready to listen to my voice above your own. I’m going to tell you some very difficult things, especially over the next 3 days, most of which, you will need to take on trust. Ok?” Yes Lord. Thoughts of bread of adversity and water of affliction on the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. “Good, now for the second lesson. When you get home, you need to write all this down. Be diligent about writing your lessons for the next few days. Everybody but Job knows the story of Job, and similarly, our notes may become more important than you. I will bless you to be a blessing. So write.”